RIP Dallas

courtesy of the onion:

5-Million-Car Pileup Kills Dallas-Fort Worth
July 16, 2007

DALLAS—The Texas Highway Patrol announced that Dallas and Fort Worth, the state's largest metropolitan area, was killed instantly during evening rush hour Monday, after their 5,104,233 vehicles were involved in a series of violent head-on, rear-end, and T-bone collisions on Interstate 30.
"This is one of the worst wrecks I've seen, made even sadder by the fact that these cities were so young," state trooper Lew Pettibone said. "It's especially painful knowing how close these cities were."
Dallas, 151, and Fort Worth, which turned 134 two weeks ago, are survived by their sister city, Arlington, and several younger suburbs.